I have ALWAYS hated the first day of school...

What an interesting way to start my first blog entry, huh?



Why, you ask?




It's because on the first day of school every teacher wants the entire class to play the "Get To Know Your Neighbor" game. What a silly game, right? I mean isn't that what recess is for? Anyway, I dreaded playing that game because I was scared out of my Osh Kosh B'Gosh overalls to get up in front of a crowd. I never knew what to say or do and like any child that has insecurity issues, I resorted to sarcasm. So, I would crack a joke (usually one that my parents never intended for me to hear), make a complete ass out of myself, annnnnd get the stink eye from my teacher. Cute, right?

Well, that is kind of the feeling I have about starting a blog. I love to talk and anyone that is forced to.....I mean chooses to love me will tell you that I have a lot to say. However, I'm new to blogging and the thought of writing this first entry took me back to elementary school. What do I say? Do I have to be funny? Is anyone even going to read this? Those questions have kept me from starting this for 6 months. And then one day I decided that none of that crap really mattered. I didn't have any hardship in my life to write about that would result in mass hits to my blog and donations through my Paypal account. Nor would I ever be as cool as The Pioneer Woman and write about artery clogging but delicious cooking. (Although, I bet my cooking could kick her cooking's spatula right out of the kitchen.)


As a result, I have come to the conclusion that my blog will only consist of three things.

1.) A LOT of dry sarcastic humor and jokes.
2.) TONS of asshatery on my part.
3.) Enough stink eyes from my friends and family to clear a room.

Sound good?


Awesome!!
(I mean did you really have a choice?)






So, allow me to introduce myself........






My name is..........








PSYCH!!!




I mean I have a real name but it is soooooo uncool. Also, let's be honest. The interwebz is a scary place so who knows who will read this and try to stalker me. So, from here on out I will refer to myself as Momma Toast. Wierd, right? Not so much. Those that know me very well in my real life understand the play on words. That's right. Chuckle a little bit because you know that shit was creative. :) I married Daddy Toast in 2007 and we welcomed French Toast at the end of 2008. I like to think of myself as a self proclaimed college student. I received my Bachelor's degree after seven loooooog years (*insert stink eye here*) but I have recently discovered my love for being in the classroom. Hopefully, the certification process doesn't take quite so long. Most days I am just your average 20-something trying to make the transition from college frat parties and football to play dates and mortgages. Other days I feel like things are spinning out of control. In all actuality, that is why I wanted to start this blog. Even if no one reads this and no one cares, I will have an outlet to turn to.



And who knows......





.....maybe I will be cooler than the Pioneer Woman.:)